The advantages and disadvantages of being a single parent could go on and on. But, people should not forget that separation is not just about two people going separate ways. It should be more focused on dealing with what is left of the family and taking care of the rest.

To those who have the custody of the children with them, being prepared and getting started with single parenting is a must the soonest possible time. This is because the adult’s readiness will determine if he or she is fit to be the guardian of the child. Also, being prepared will somehow serve as an indicator how well the child would live his or her life.

Starting out right

Many mothers and fathers, after going through separation, lose their drive in becoming a good parent. This is because they have yet to deal with their own issues, making them vulnerable to any emotional baggage and possible hardships that single parenting might bring.

Experts say that the best way to get started with single parenting is to address small issues and simple tasks with the child. Although parenting might come easy for others, there are those who cannot get their acts together especially if they have been so dependent with their previous partner when it comes to raising the child. For parents like these, it would be better to start off with small and simple goals to achieve with their child. If you start small and simple, you will be able to accomplish more goals the easier way.

Another thing that can help you get started with single parenting is to continue learning. This signifies your desire to move on and look forward to a brighter future ahead of you and your child. If you continue learning new things, you will be able to acquire new skills that can help you achieve the goals you have set for yourself and for your kid. Learning different things will also open you up to other opportunities. Experts say that continuous exploration will help single parents know what is in store for them.

Single parents should also aim for success in their new situation. This is important not to pressure yourself with things that you feel you cannot do yet. If you feel that you can’t work and be a parent simultaneously, you have to find a way to provide for your child’s needs while you are being a full-time single parent. If this won’t work, you should never stop finding a set up that would work best for you and your child.

To be able to develop the best single parenting formula that would work for you and your child’s needs, you should always be positive on your outlook in life. It is best to clear your mind from negative thoughts so you can think clearly. Once you have done this, you will have an idea where to start and you can also talk to your child how to go about it.

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Some say because of so many options people have when it comes to choosing their partners. While others agree that the busy schedule brought by the modern times is the major culprit. No matter what the reasons are for separation of couples who have kids, there is no reason for anybody to be an irresponsible parent.

Contrary to common perception that single parenting is a burden—because the parent who has the custody of the child will shoulder all the responsibilities in raising the child—being a single parent can be fun, too! This is because there will be nobody to consult when it comes to raising the child. Next is that more time can be spent to attend to all the needs of the child—at home and inside the school.

Surviving single parenting

After separation, the couple concerned is not the only ones that are affected. Aside from family and friends, the persons who will be most affected would be the children. Experts say that kids—regardless of their ages—could be greatly affected by any form separation. These effects would depend on attitude of the child towards life. But, the success in this lies mainly on how parents help the child deal with the mixed emotions and feeling of insecurity though effective single parenting.

In order to be an effective single parent, one must be more attentive and supportive of the young ones. A parent pay more attention to children and being more patient on them. Aside from the ones mentioned, single parenting could be more smooth-sailing if a parent:

- shows that he or she has enough time to tend to whatever the child needs, asks or demands. Experts agree that single parents that show that they have enough time to answer the inquisitions and grant the requests of children are more likely to have kids that are less insecure. This is because this kind of attention will make the child feel more important and can help them see things in a positive manner.

- always listen to what the child says. Kids who have single parents crave for more attention compared to those who live with both of their parents. So, it is a must for a single parent to have greater listening skills when it comes to children who love to tell stories and share their views. This can help the child develop the self-confidence he or she needs in order to deal with sadness brought by the separation of his or her parents.

- spends quality time with the child. Although single parenting will eventually takes its toll on you since you are doing all the work, this is not reason enough not to spend quality time with the child. If you do this, you are updated what’s going on in his/her life. You can also veer away children from any form of depression because they know that they can count on you anytime.

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1. Accept the situation

This is the first step in making it alive and stronger from this situation. Accepting the situation is easier for those who have actually chosen to raise their kids on their own without any support from their partners or to those who still receive support but are not living with their partners but for those whose partners turned their back on them, this is much harder to take. Some will even come to resent the responsibility for a time because after all, why should they be stuck with a child when their partners are living the easy life? But eventually reality will catch up with them. Once they learn to accept the situation and make the best out of it, they will begin to feel the situation becoming easier to handle.

2. Get help

In raising your child, you do not just need the support of your partner and if they don’t want to take responsibility for the child, do not force the issue. Instead work on your relationships with your parents, relatives and friends. You can also get some help from the community. There are a lot of organizations out there that help single parents. Some offer free babysitting services or a free play group class for parents who need to work and have no one to leave their child with. Some organizations also provide financial help to single parents.

3. Share your experience

One of the ways to really survive single parenting is to share your experience with other single parents and be part of a community. Knowing that there are other parents out there who are also sharing your ordeal makes it easier for you to deal with it. Also, meeting other single parents is a great way to network and to find support. Some single parents who are part of a support group constantly help each other out through babysitting duties or carpools or even tutorial sessions. Actually, just knowing that you have people that you can rely on is reward enough for any single parent.

Single parenting is tough but it does not have to be hard. You just need to know how to deal with the situation.

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Single parenting defined

Single parenting is the practice of nurturing and raising your children without another adult equally involved in the process. In the United States alone, there are about 15 million single parents. Large percentage of these is composed of divorced or unmarried women, widows/widowers, surrogate mothers, or adopters. Women single parents are common than men. Throughout the world, single parenthood is more prevalent in the Western than Asian countries.

The difference between single-parent “family” and single-parent “household”

The practice of single parenting can be a single-parent “family” or single-parent “household.” A single parent family is when there is only one parent and the other parent is completely out of the child’s life. It can be through death, sperm donation, complete abandonment of one parent, or no contact is ever made with the other parent. On the other hand, a single-parent household is when one parent has primary custody of the child or children but the other parent not living in the house is still part of the child’s family. A divorce case where the mother has the primary physical custody of the child is one example of a single-parent household.

According to a study by Rodgers in 1996, prevalence of single-parent “family” cases in the United States are caused by the changing social and cultural trends, presence of welfare benefits that allows women to set up their own households, higher rates of divorce and non marital childbearing, higher employment opportunities for women, and, lower employment opportunities for men.

Single mother by choice is a case of single-parent “family”

Single mother by choice is an option for women who want to practice single parenting. A popular example of a woman who choose single mother by choice is Academy Award-winning actress Jodi Foster. She is a proud parent of two children and without a husband. She believes that women like her have the viable option of single-parent “family.” Single mother by choice is an option to women who are dedicated to motherhood, politically aware of their choice, financially responsible and mature.  An organization for women who want to raise children of their own and who may want to marry and not to marry is Single Mothers by Choice. They can be reached through the website: singlemothersbychoice.com.

Single Parenting (Mother-only and Father-only cases)

According to figures, vast majority of single parenting cases are female-headed. Male-headed single parenting cases are commonly as a result of widowhood or mother refusing custody. In case of divorce, a father increases their chances of winning custody when they pay child support or when the children are older and chooses the father. However, both male and female agree that regardless of sex single parenting is a challenging family option.

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1. How to get through over guilt – As a single parents it is likely for you to have moments of insecurity about your ability to raise your children alone. Feelings of guilt, regret, or even frustration are part of your unsuccessful attempt of giving your children a complete family. However, you must not let these negative emotions overpower you or else your children will also have unhealthy relationships towards you and other people. 

2. How to provide make role models for your child – Experts say that it is important for single parents to expose their children to other positive men like their grandpa or their uncles. This allows children to feel that they can still receive the love and attention they would normally get from their fathers.

3. How to seek child support – Your child deserves every kind of support from you and his father. Seeking a child’s support is not a way to get back at his father but a way to help you support your child. If a father refuses a child support, you can ask for government’s help. Many States are adopting laws to prevent delinquent parents running away from their responsibilities.

4. How to maintain a civil relationship with your child’s father – Experts advice that it is your responsibility as a parent to keep the lines of communication open and maintain a civil relationship with your child’s father. You must maintain your cool and learn to compromise to allow a good father-child relationship.

5. How to answer when the child asks about the father – There will come a time when your child asks about his other parent. It is scaring but as a mother it is your responsibility to answer questions regarding his father and your household situation honestly and specifically as possible. You need to reassure your child that despite of the circumstances, both of his parents love him or her.

6. How to remind your child of his father – Even if a child’s father can’t play an active role in a child’s life it is still vital to keep his memory in the child’s mind. Encourage your child to nurture his relationship with his dad by constantly reminding something good about his father like a beautiful voice or an enjoyable bonding game they enjoy.

7. Ways to reach out to support networks – Swallowing a little pride and confiding some of your concerns to your family and friends will lighten your parental load. It will also help if you let your family and friends bond with your kids on special occasions or on weekends. For single parenting support groups within your community, you may check: singleparentsnetwork.com or singlemom.com.

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However, isn’t it a much more exciting idea to consider a kid’s mural project, where your child can enjoy creating his own holiday kid’s mural and seeing it on display, big as you please? The idea of a kid’s mural needn’t be confined to the holidays. This kid’s art project can become the favored, ongoing seasonal project, which works with one child or six.

Murals tend to tell a story, either through symbolism or imagery. The subjects may involve people at a task, or interacting with body language. A woman pouring water from a jug, or warriors on horses are just a couple of examples. Then again, some murals are essentially landscapes. When you introduce this art project to the kids, your first step is to get online. Do a Google image search on ‘frescoes’. Naturally, you’ll get a mix of ancient and contemporary art, so you can refine stylistic elements during different time periods with a different search string. For example, ‘Italian frescoes’ and ‘Italian murals’ will, for the most part, separate ancient from contemporary work. And, don’t forget to search on ‘kid’s murals’! This online look at this age-old traditional art will be an eye-opener, inspiring them with so many ideas for their mural.

After this mini-tour of frescoes and murals through the centuries, expect that the enthusiasm for the kid’s mural project will be high. Let the kids decide where they’d like to display their mural, so that you can calculate the size of the frameless, hard board canvas you’ll need. For a larger kid’s mural, you might also consider using 3/8” plywood, which you seal with primer before beginning. Other supplies you’ll need include pencils, acrylic paints, a few plastic palettes and acrylic brushes, ranging from wide to fine.

Even DaVinci needed to make pencil studies, so encourage the kids to pencil in their basic composition before starting to paint, so their finished art will most closely reflect what their imagination told them.

Lay down a lot of newspaper around the canvas or plywood! The result will be a beautiful addition to your home and some proud artists. Kid’s murals can hang in the entryway, the dining room, or grace a wall in the child’s room. This kid’s activity is great for the holidays, but can be easily adapted to any season. All it takes is a thin nail with a wide head to archive the holiday mural with a Valentine updated wall space. Kid’s murals are absolutely one of the easiest and most exciting of kid’s art projects, which can be done with a single child or in groups, year ’round!

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